The most significant aspect of media reports on Sonakshi Sinha and Zaheer Iqbal’s relationship is that Sonakshi will not convert to Islam. However, Indian society and media have not questioned whether Zaheer Iqbal would convert to Hinduism to marry Sonakshi.
Further, Indian society has expected children from Hindu-Muslim marriages to have Arabic names rather than Sanskrit-based names, reflecting an ingrained caste hierarchy. These disparities arise from the Indian societal stereotype that views Hindus as the submissive caste and Muslims as the dominant caste in intermarriage scenarios.
This article is not about the personal choices of individuals or families but rather about societal norms that have been accepted and perpetuated over millennia.
Marriage of Equality
It is commendable that the Iqbal family is attempting to move beyond the millennia-old dominant position of Muslims in Hindu-Muslim marriages. The Iqbals, being Khoja Shia Muslims, are generally more progressive and tolerant of Hindu practices compared to other Muslim communities.
In the context of a millennia-long caste hierarchy in intermarriage, the equal relationship between Sinha and Iqbal represents the best-case scenario for the submissive caste (Hindus) and the worst-case scenario for the dominant caste (Muslims), who traditionally expect Hindus to convert to Islam.
Caste in Intermarriage
Here, the term ‘caste’ is redefined from its conventional Indian understanding. The Portuguese originally used the term ‘casta,’ meaning lineage, to describe a dominant elite society controlling a submissive population. Isabel Wilkerson, in her book, uses the term caste to describe white domination over blacks in America and Nazi domination over Jews in Germany, alongside the system in India. The author, Dilip Amin, has introduced a new concept of caste in intermarriage, which is crucial to understanding contemporary dynamics.
The concept of caste here does not pertain to status and wealth. Considering the Sinha family’s greater fame and probable wealth compared to the Iqbal family, one might expect Shatrughan Sinha, the bride’s father, to assert his dominant position by displaying his generosity by declaring that Zaheer Iqbal will not convert to Hinduism. Instead, the reality reflects the opposite.
The practice of converting a Hindu to Islam for marriage is rooted in Quran 2:221 and has been strictly enforced by Islamic societies for centuries. Many Islamic countries have stringent laws against ‘Hindu’-Muslim marriages. One cannot find a single Hindu-Muslim couple in either Pakistan or Bangladesh, and if one exists, they will be executed. Unless one is a celebrity living in a secular country, it is challenging for an average non-Muslim to defy Islamic dominance in intermarriage.
Most Muslims would say Zaheer Iqbal has already ignored Quran 24:30 and 2:221. They may still pressure Zaheer to take steps according to Quran 60:11, so Sonakshi is not out of the woods. That is what happened to Geetha, who married through a civil wedding but was later trapped into converting to Islam when she was pregnant.
Shatrughan had no chance to influence this relationship, and the Sinha family has some anxiety about it. Despite their name and fame, the Sinha family may have concerns about being placed in the caste subordinate position.
Name to Establish Caste Supremacy
Name is very important to maintain caste hierarchy. While Sonakshi and Zaheer’s marriage may be secular, this dynamic can change when naming their children. For example, Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan adhered to this caste hierarchy by naming their sons Taimur and Jehangir, reflecting Kareena’s subordinate position relative to Saif. Saif’s Sunni Muslim community enforces strict rules against Hindus in intermarriages. Both Saif’s mother, Sharmila Tagore, and his former wife, Amrita Singh, converted to Islam for their Nikah and gave Arabic names for their children. Even Saif’s sister, Soha Ali Khan, who married a Hindu, chose a Quranic name for her daughter.
The Sinha family has named their children based on the Ramayana. Poonam and Shatrughan Sinha may be concerned about preserving the Hindu heritage of their daughter Sonakshi. Considering Shatrughan’s fragile health, it would be beneficial if the groom’s father, Iqbal Ratnasi, announced now that the children from this marriage will have names from both traditions and will be raised in both Hinduism and Islam. This approach promotes equality and fairness for both sides. Such a gesture from Iqbal would demonstrate a commitment to avoiding caste dominance and would likely help alleviate the Sinha family’s anxiety.
Rumors now suggest that Sonakshi is pregnant. It is hoped that the Sinha-Iqbal family, unlike the Kapoor-Khan family, will demonstrate true equality in their relationship by choosing names for their children that reflect both cultural heritages, thereby helping to break the 1,000-year-old Hindu-Muslim intermarriage caste hierarchy.
Disclosures: The author wishes to empower youths and opposes religious institutions imposing intolerant practices. This message addresses societal stereotyping, not individuals. These discussions are specific to the context of intermarriage dynamics and do not generalize to entire communities or faiths in all other scenarios.
– Dr. Dilip Amin
I am not stuck in the word caste, your article relates with caste starting from the heading and discussed in that paradigm, what is actually religious supremacy which is more high handed than caste contextually in an “inter-religious” marriage.
Wilkinson has used the word “caste” for something that is not more basic/raw than caste and you have concurred his fluid usage.
Caste is more complicated than the individual examples in Wilkinson’s article.
There are different words for what different things mean and what different subjects are about.
You and all of us should unwaveringly be grounded to the issue of Hindu decimation (presuming you are concerned about Hindu decimation as well).
It is permanently set in Hindu subconscious as well as in Hindu conscious mind that the Muslims are higher and Hindus are lower in religious caste based hierarchy. Unless Hindus stop for a moment and think over this issue of “why Hindu not converting is a major news item, while Muslim not converting is taken as normal”, Hindus will not see the light and remain happy with darkness.
Dahyabhai, this is an excellent point on Hindu mindset, even after 77 years after being out of gulami. I explain this as Stockholm syndrome, which sheds light on how individuals may develop a bond with those who mistreat them, often as a means of survival. This phenomenon can lead people to align themselves with those in power and conform to their expectations in order to gain approval or avoid further harm. More details here https://www.patheos.com/blogs/equalityforhappiness/2024/06/intermarriage-as-a-new-category-of-caste-systems/
Thank you Dilipji for this article.
We need to change the mindset of Hindus are submissive
Dear IK, yes, that is my objective. Even the caste word is imposed on Hindus by outsiders, today Hindus are happy to own it. When Wilkerson used it for race or Nazis, Hindus get confused. When I use ‘caste’ term to describe a dominance system (here by Muslims) in intermarriage, Hindus get confused. Sad!
This message addresses societal stereotyping, not individuals.
I said, “The concept of caste here does not pertain to status and wealth.” Let me explain. The term ‘Shatrughan Sinha’ has 27,800,000 Google hits compared to the father of Zaheer, ‘Iqbal Ratnasi,’ with 3,950. By this measure, Shatrughan has 7,038 times more popularity compared to Ratnasi. If name and fame were the basis for dominance, Shatrughan should be in a dominant position. However, the reality is quite the opposite.
It is Ratnasi announcing, “Sonakshi will not convert to Islam,” and not Shatrughan showing his generosity by stating, “Zaheer Iqbal will not have to convert to Hinduism.” This is because the Indian mindset has accepted a stereotype of Hindus in a submissive position and Islam in a dominant position. A Muslim not asking for conversion is seen as his/her generosity, not the other way around.
Let’s stop the stereotyping and give equality to all, including Hindus.
In case of common people ; the girl’s side loses its resistance if the boy is a Muslim. In fact even if the boy is Hindu and the girl is Muslim/Christian on the other side, for certain reasons.
Shatrughan Sinha in this case as the father of an actress, a successful woman has lesser say in these matters but just to accept it even (if at all) if he were not agreeable to it.
(In earlier era they would agree and ostracize but don’t resist in public).
You say “A Muslim not asking for conversion is seen as his/her generosity, not the other way around.”
Sorry i have to STRESS this and explain, so read on below.
NO. YOU ARE WRONG, so are all those who would comply with you.
Why are you wrong ?
Because you and many “SEE” this as an act of “generousity”.
Why ?
Because the bar is set low by Islam, an act which you call generousity (that too only if it were to happen) is not generousity but just an option had Islam not insisted on marital conversion be it a girl or boy.
Don’t concur with this low bar set by Islam. On this matter it is the brazenness of Islam’s biased marriage rules.
You “see” it as an act of generousity because Islam has “instructed” it already and for centuries on, this is how familiies, villages, lanes, districts, provinces became Muslim majority.
As for your last sentence in the latest comment, it not (us) “let’s” or Hindus. There is inherent inequality that i have explained here.
These points are more clear and visible than what you think that Zaheer’s father “could do”.
A bit of digressing from the topic, allowed me to explain this point too.
My statement of “generosity’ was sarcasm!! I am saying it is an insult to Hindus when Zaheer’s parents make such statement.
I agree to you that there is total inequality in marriage between Hindu and Muslim in marriage. I have been working in this field for past 18 years and have written 4 books on it. I hope you can read one of them.
Namaste Karthikeyan ji, this is the author Dr. Dilip Amin. Thank you for raising concerns. I see concerns with Kareena Kapoor having Muslim names for their children, even she has not converted to Islam. Likewise, Minakshi has not converted to Islam but question remain if she will follow Kareena’s footsteps. For this reason, I wrote “The Sinha family has named their children based on the Ramayana. Poonam and Shatrughan Sinha may be concerned about preserving the Hindu heritage of their daughter Sonakshi. Considering Shatrughan’s fragile health, it would be beneficial if the groom’s father, Iqbal Ratnasi, announced now that the children from this marriage will have names from both traditions and will be raised in both Hinduism and Islam.”
I am redefining the term “caste”. Any domination as a custom is caste hierarchy. Asking a Hindu to convert to Islam or having children only Arabic names (like in Saif’s family) is to prove Islam dominance over Hinduism; that is CASTE!
I will be glad to clarify more. Thank you.
Namaskar.
In Mumbai city or Maharashtra especially in Marathis, Gujaratis sometimes “caste” is a synonym used rather than asking directly about the person’s state of origin (religion and caste are usually noticeable from surnames).
Coming to our post here, if you equate religion with caste even for the sake of this article, then i sincerely request you to revisit this, as it plays very well into hostile hands. And we have centuries of experience burning fingers here.
If you haven’t understood my concern let me explain.
I can have a name Alexander or Cyrus and still be Hindu. Parsis and sometimes even Punjabi Hindus, Gujarati Muslims have Christian or English language (like you talk of Arabic here) sounding (sur)names like Diana, Nancy or Merchant.
Many Tamils retain Christian names after “reconversion” to Hinduism, just like many Sri Lankans clearly “RECONVERTED” still have Portuguese surnames like D’Silva (like many Catholics in India) and call themselves Buddhists, only the Christian surnames have come down to them now obviously and hence retained.
Muslims, Christians have surnames like Gokhale, Joshi, Pandith, Chaturvedi in Maharashtra, Kashmir or Hindi belt.
Pillay, Pawar etc, the list is unending in the converted world.
Please don’t redefine caste just for the sake of Arabic name, the word already has various factual connotations it covers ethnicity, profession, Varna and even “race”.
So if a Hindu converts then it is gone what problem do you have with a Muslim name which you call dominance of “caste”.
Coming back there are instances though sparse where reconverted people have retained Farsi, Arabic surnames, but the glaring example is Sri Lankan Buddhists that i have quoted above.
If you read this new but long comment of mine above “very carefully” you must have noticed that rather i have “clarified” to you that name, surname is trivial.
Please understand, there is no such thing as “it would be beneficial if the groom’s father, Iqbal Ratnasi, announced now that the children from this marriage will have names from both traditions and will be raised in both Hinduism and Islam.”
You have no control over this, no matter how much you IMAGINE (sorry not better word) it on behalf of him whether he cares or even knows you/me/us.
What matters is if the children will be Muslim or Hindu.
Even if surname is maternal “Sinha” which usually never is or Zaheer’s surname.
In case you missed it out ; A Hindu can be multi-religious but Muslims usually are not even if claimed in newspaper articles.
Pardon me Sir, i hope my clarification enlightens you (sorry to use this word, lest you forget what decimation Hindus/Hinduism are going through it).
Last but not least so again, (sur)name doesn’t matter because there are many cryptos with Hindu (sur)name.
Britishers imposed it, and now Hindus own the word ‘caste’. That must change now.
Caste, as defined by Wilkerson and originally used by the Portuguese, is ‘DOMINANCE of one over the SUBMISSION of others.’ Caste is not religion or race. Please read my original article here for a detailed explanation. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/equalityforhappiness/2024/06/intermarriage-as-a-new-category-of-caste-systems/
Saif, who does not claim to be a practicing Muslim, converted Amrita for marriage, which is caste (to prove Islamic dominance over a Sikh) and gave Muslim names to their children, which is again caste. Giving children names like Taimur and Jehangir with Kareena is caste (to establish Islamic dominance over Hinduism).
Zaheer Iqbal does not claim to be a practicing Muslim and he ignored Quran 2:221 and 24:30 to marry Sonakshi. There is no caste mentality as far now (no dominance of one over the other, which is admirable). However, if they have children with names like Taimur and Jehangir, that reflects a caste mentality. Let’s see what they do later.
Whether you call it caste (Portuguese origin) or jati, it existed before Britishers.
Saif’s children from the first marriage Sara and Ibrahim Ali have Muslim names whether or not if we know if he is circumcized. She goes to temples regularly.
Saif’s marriage with Kareena Kapoor was done in a hotel with a Homa.
But for his children from second marriage again with a non-Muslim curiously he himself said that he wouldn’t have named his son Ram (Taimur or Jeh).
The article by Isabel Wilkinson uses the word caste to describe racial and religious supremacy, not needed as we know these both clearly and so no name superimposition is needed to divert the matter.
And in these such marriages it is “religious supremacy” of Islam, the word caste is distracting and non-consequential.
I know you are stuck on caste word exclusively for jati, that is unfortunate. Wilkerson used it for any kind of dominant/submissive systems, including Nazi’s Aryan and race issue in America. I am taking similar position to use the word ‘caste’ for any kind of dominant/submissive system, here Hindu-Muslim marriage.
I am based in San Francisco and in the USA since 1977. For this reason, I am out of Indian jati issues that you may be seeing everyday. You can remain focused on your local issue, I am following Wilkerson by redefining the work ‘caste’.
What are you talking about ?
Do you think we Hindus are fools to lap up your ANALYSIS ?
Children with Arabic names ?
If the children are raised as Muslims and made Muslim by rituals or circumcision, then Arabic names or even English names don’t matter.
Be sensible, don’t post such articles and take us back to the era of Hindu naivety and foolishness.
Who is this “Guest Author” distracting us, please teach him what your website is about.