Fertility, Family and Freedom

Young girls peered through their screens, listening intently to the online talk on the great women from our ancient texts. The session, organized by Hindu Parenting group, revisited the lives of Draupadi and Sita Mata, and the world they once inhabited. The girls heard closely as the speaker pointed out how these women of the past held their own in a duty-oriented society.

They were familiar with the stories, yet the discussion offered a fresh perspective. To hear that women did not challenge conventions but instead seek logic and fairness in how duties for both genders were interpreted, was strikingly new for this generation of girls.

The girls were riveted by the talk, and they were equally inspired by the speaker, an urban, educated, single woman in her forties whose books on Bhartiya Itihaas, the great epics, has challenged the Marxist portrayal of India’s ancient women in contemporary literature done through the lens of class and gender oppression. The audience found nothing unusual in a woman who spoke with authority on ancient Dharmic values and yet embraced an independent life.

For most urban, educated Hindus, an independent, single Hindu woman does not elicit much discomfort. After all, Hindu history offers several examples of ancient and medieval women who chose the path of knowledge as brahmacharinis rather than the life of a householder.

In modern times too, Hindu families have been strongly oriented towards women’s education and empowerment, perhaps an attribute of the dynamic and diverse nature of Hindu beliefs and the progressive mindset of the Hindu middle and upper-middle classes. Recent data from government surveys show a high level of gender parity in education. Women employment has been consistently rising. Improvement in women’s education and better market opportunities have invariably increased their involvement in paid employment. In some eliteprofessions such as aviation, Indian women’s participation is higher than western countries.

While these strides in education and employment are widely viewed with pride, it rankles traditionalists. Middle-aged men and women on social media and WhatsApp invoke dharmic norms of Grihastha ashram to dismiss this progress in women’s education and economic participation. Social problems such as rising depression, divorces and even crime, either committed by women or on women are blamed on modern mores and poor parenting.

The responsibility for dropping birthrates and its implications is also put squarely on the shoulders of young women. The role of women and the freedom they can exercise without unsettling social order remains an ideological issue that continues provoke strong debates within Hindu society, especially on social media and WhatsApp groups.

Falling Birthrates: The Unfair Blame on Women

Women’s education and employment is perhaps taken for granted today but societies have had to strive hard to ensure even basic health and well-being for women through the 20thcentury. According to census data, in the early years of India’s independence, almost 90% of Indian women were illiterate. Health surveys show that maternal mortality was shockingly high in the 1950s with 10 out of 1000 women not able to survive childbirth. Today, the risk has lessened, but it has not vanished. Out of 1000 women who give birth, there will be 1 woman who loses her life.

Simply by virtue of biology, women do bear a higher physical and economic consequence for bearing children and forming a family. A recognition of the historical disparity and the biological asymmetry honestly is the only way the Hindu community can understand and effectively address the resistance young women have towards marriage and children.

It has been long known that high economic prosperity and high consumption patterns lead to lower fertility rates. As societies become richer, infant mortality falls. Also, children are no longer seen as contributors to the family income. Instead, they consume a large portion of parental income in basic care and education until well into adulthood. Countries with high financial security foster an independent lifestyle making children an optional choice.

Scandinavian countries have witnessed dropping fertility rates as they rapidly industrialized in the late 19th century. Fertility rates in Sweden (the average number of children a woman will have in her lifetime) dropped from 4.67 in 1860s to 2.20 in 1930s. Currently it stands at approximately 1.5 per woman. Similarly, as East Asian nations industrialized and became prosperous, the fertility rates went down. South Korea’s fertility today is the lowest in the world with 0.89 children per women. This is a huge decrease from 6 children per woman in 1940s and one of the steepest fertility declines in recorded history. Japan is also doing quite badly, with a fertility rate of 1.15.

India has witnessed unprecedented economic growth since liberalization in 1990s. It has been able to lift millions out of abject poverty in the past 20 years. Death from hunger has become a rarity. Concurrently, fertility rates have dropped too, from 3.3 in 1990s to approximately 2.0 in 2020s (and 1.94 for Hindus)

As discussed, a drop in fertility is expected as nations progress economically. However, Scandinavian countries have been able to slow the fall while South Korea and Japan continue to decline alarmingly. This shows that the right interventions do help in slowing population decline. A study of the social and cultural differences in Korean and Scandinavia society throws up fascinating insights that can help to address the fertility challenges facing Hindu society.

South Korea and Japan have historically had a highly male dominated social structure. Though social norms have relaxed, the work culture remains tough and competitive. Several studies show that long hours and lack of flexibility in workplace influence birthrates. Statistics show that South Koreans work 1,865 hours a year in comparison with 1,736 hours in the US and 1,431 in Sweden. Women find it difficult to cope with such long schedules after having a child. Consequently, employment for mothers falls by 62 percent after having a child in South Korea. In the US it falls by a quarter and in Sweden by only 9 percent. Countries grappling with low fertility rates prove that it is extremely hard for women to balance work and motherhood in a culture that prioritizes work over family and personal life.

Sweden’s ability to stem the fall of birthrates can also be attributed to gender-neutral parenting policies which makes it socially possible for fathers to be involved equally in taking care of young children. Non-transferable long duration paternity leaves, father’s contribution in household work, social acceptance to career plateaus due to parenting duties also help make parenthood easier. However, Sweden’s birthrate is still below replacement rate of 2.1, which is the average number of children a woman needs to have for a population to replace itself from one generation to the next.

Israel is the only country in the developed world which has maintained fertility rates much above replacement rate (3.01 per woman) despite high women employment rates (nearly 50%women in Israel work outside home). A large part of this fertility trend is attributed to Jewish history, religion and cultural imperatives. However, a research study published in a Social Science Journal (link given at the end of this article) pointed towards two major strategies that help young mothers participate in paid employment. One is the informal network, and community ties that steps in to provide childcare, and the other is the flexibility and structure of employment that allows options of limited hours of work. State policies are family friendly, with fully funded medical support for childbirth, free childcare facilities and school education. The state even funds unlimited cycles of IVF and other fertility treatments for women up to the age of 45.

Unfortunately for India, the workplace culture especially in organised private sector leans a little more towards Japan than Israel. Women increasingly feel they must perform at par withmen in the highly masculine work culture. The infamous ‘70-hour workweek’ quote by Narayan Murthy, founder of India’s largest IT company Infosys, underlines the expectations at large corporations. Similarly, when women CEOs like Radhika Gupta of Edelweiss Asset Management Company publicly talk about coming back to work six weeks after giving birth, it sets unrealistic ideals. Such high-profile examples of prioritising work and professional success over family creates a culture that sees children as optional. It puts pressure over women to choose either career or family. Examples from Japan and Korea show that when confronted with a choice, women choose paid employment.

It is easy for society to say that women should compromise for sake of building a family, but at an individual level, in absence of policy-led financial support and family assistance, it’s a difficult decision to take. Workplaces fixated on profits lack empathy to personal lives and urban couples living away from their hometowns are unable to find family support. This makes childbirth and childcare an extremely lonely and stressful journey for the urban Hindu woman.

To address the resistance, Hindu families must be willing to reorganise themselves around parenthood. Families must consciously reverse the asymmetry of household burden that exists between genders in families and lighten the burden on women. Men need to accept a higher visible load in parenting duties. In-laws and parents must act as shields and support postpartum rest and recovery. Paid help must be seen as dharmic spending, not indulgence. Most importantly, a mother’s time for rest, recreation and even solitude should be protected.

Understanding why women are choosing to have fewer or no children is the first step in addressing the demographic challenge facing the Hindu community. As seen in examples such as Israel and Scandinavia, both economic support and social culture that celebrates the role of women in childcare and family service is important. In the absence of a pro-children national culture and virtually no policies that incentivizes family expansion, placing the blame solely on women is unconstructive and in fact reflects a deep-seated bias.

Women’s Economic Participation

Women’s economic activity does compete with having children. Consequently, several traditionalists propose that Hindu girls should not be encouraged to seek paid employment. This view is either disingenuous or blind to contemporary realities. Historically, Hindu women may have been expected to be homemakers and bear progeny, but those norms are no longer valid.

In ancient Hindu society, varna vyavastha and familial professions groomed and absorbed talent, providing both men and women with meaningful activity that brought economic, social, and individual fulfilment.

The industrial revolution reshaped social and economic life: formal education expanded widely, technology collapsed distance, physical strength ceased to be central to survival, and the modern economy opened vast avenues of employment for women.

In an industrial and technologically oriented world, economic participation outside the home is no longer discretionary for households that wish to remain stable and upwardly mobile. Several economic studies also point out that women’s education and workforce participation is desirable since they are closely linked with better child nutrition and health outcomes.

Young girls today access education across fields and excel in subjects that suit their aptitude and capabilities. For most Hindu women, economic participation is a natural consequence of engaging with a career-focused education system.

Even for women from wealthy families, paid work has increasingly been recognised as a legitimate and respectable pursuit, one that allows a woman to utilise her talents, maintain agency and live a fulfilling life.

A changed world demands that Hindu women contribute to nation-building, family finances, and their own well-being. Therefore, the parochial suspicion directed at women’s career advancement and financial success needs an honest scrutiny. Is it a longing for utopian vision of Hindu society or simply prejudice directed at young women?

Traditionalists often argue that Muslim women accept domestic duties and motherhood without friction and wonder why Hindu women need to seek education, careers, and financial independence. This is a shallow and inaccurate reading of Muslim society and how education, employment, and public participation have evolved within their community. In Muslim majority areas in Kerala, Hyderabad, or Bengaluru, it is common to see women with the mandatory head-covering (Hijab) thriving in professions like medicine, teaching, engineering, and law. They participate fully in modern education and professional life without their communities framing this as a civilisational betrayal. These societies may have their own internal contradictions, but they broadly accept economic participation as a legitimate role for every capable member of the community.

As discussed earlier in the article, most Hindu daughters, especially in urban areas are already preparing to pursue professional careers. The discussion, therefore, within Hindu society should move from whether women working outside home is ideal or not to how families can support young girls who work in an increasing competitive and uncaring world. Hindu families must recognise that there are elements in modern society which actively seekto exploit and mislead the young, especially those who are emotionally or economically vulnerable. Independence, for young women, therefore, must be accompanied by strong familial bonds, aware parents and a support system that can listen and guide the young with compassion and acceptance.

Pro-Women Laws: The Need to Protect Women

Legal provisions and laws to safeguard women’s rights at work have accompanied the increase in women in the workforce. In the last 25 years, stringent laws that hold men accountable for sexual harassment, dowry, and rape have been instituted. Critics believe these laws hold men to a higher standard, strain gender relations in families, and are liable to be misused.

Men’s rights activists often portray men as victims and overstate instances of misuse, while feminists point to pervasive patriarchy in Hindu society and argue for a dismantling of traditional family and social structures.

Beyond the noise of mainstream and social media debates, at an individual level most Hindu families, especially fathers with young daughters, recognise the inherent power asymmetry between young men and women. The physical vulnerability of women, which lies at the core of most protective legal provisions, cannot be dismissed.

One such law, the Prevention of Sexual Harassment (POSH) Act enacted in 2013, addresses workplace harassment and places a significant onus on the accused male, while also imposing a clear responsibility on employers to prevent such incidents. Similarly, provisions within dowry and rape laws allow for arrest and detention prior to trial. At the policy level, the law intentionally seeks to restrain male misconduct through strict deterrence. These measures will appear unfair only if women’s intrinsic vulnerabilities are not kept into consideration.

Other policies that attract criticism are women’s inclusion in politics through quotas and incentives like lower property taxes for female ownership. The intent here, again, is to prevent women from falling into destitution. In a poor country, families are not always able to provide sustained support to women after marriage or employment outside the home. Thesepolicy measures, therefore, function as scaffolding, allowing women to have social mobility and maintain personal dignity.

Examining the policies in two extremely different countries, Sweden and Thailand, one can grasp the impact of such policies. Legal provisions in Sweden have played a major role in improving the status of women, allowing their economic inclusion and, in turn, enabling stable family formation. While in Thailand, weak laws, rapid industrialization and family breakdown has led to women choosing sex work, falling birthrates and has led to systemic exploitation of females.

Yes, in recent years, the narratives of women’s empowerment in media have seemed excessive. Celebration of ordinary achievement in sports, the armed forces, and other traditionally male-dominated professions are amplified and presented as major accomplishments. Though sometimes done the point of exhaustion, these narratives have a place. For young women, they serve as a vision of womanhood which includes public service, professional excellence or national contribution. However, the way this narrative impacts young men does need evaluation. As women take up roles which have historically belonged to men, it can leave young men confused about their masculinity. This quieter consequence of the women’s empowerment narrative has received little attention and calls for an honest examination in families as well as the Hindu community.

Way Forward for Hindu Parents

As India continues to rapidly industrialize in an hyperconnected world, Hindu children, both girls and boys, will be shaped by global pop culture, exposed to aspirational lifestyles and encouraged to pursue highly individualized definitions of success. This makes the role of the Hindu family critical.

If Hindu society has to retain its strong family oriented social structure and demographic advantage, women need be made active participants in this project. Hindus must make their daughters feel financially and psychologically secure to consider marriage and motherhood as an integral part of their future lives.

Parents must encourage the pursuit of education and learning of core skills and guide daughters on the dangers of chasing quick material success and shallow fame. It has been observed that when women get into core professions, they tend to feel more empowered and better equipped to navigate risks of exploitation, sexual harassment, and financial dependency. Emotional support is important too. Concern and distress about gender discrimination (both real and perceived) must be managed with empathy rather than dismissal.

In absence of tax breaks and pro-family policy regulations or a broader cultural ecosystem that actively supports marriage and kids, much of this responsibility falls back on families themselves. Strong households, attentive parents, and extended family environment that guides young women with care, realism, and responsibility may therefore become the quiet thread that sustains the Hindu community.

– This article has been contributed by Kaninika Mishra. She is the author of The Indic Quotient, a book about heritage entrepreneurs published by Bloomsbury in 2020