“Don’t just aim to become someone, aim to do something”.— Narendra Modi

Have we become synthetic, thick skinned and incorrigible?

For whatever reasons which are known to all of us we have become very individualistic where emotions have run dry it seems. We are insensitive and refuse to do a job even for which we are paid. Democracy is like a slow poisoning and most interpret it as a one-way street; only rights no responsibility or accountability. Money is perhaps the only motivator for the generations of today. Young and old and people can go to any extent as long as money is good.

‘Most nations, as well as people are impossible only in their youth; they become incorrigible as they grow older.’ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Yet we are stupidly sensitive about things that didn’t matter a few decades ago. People took things in their stride, a remark here a remark there was just a part of life- yet people went along an inner compass of value system ‘praan jaye paar vachchan na jai’ roughly translating into word of honour. Once you gave your word, it was to be kept whatever may happen. The inner compass was very strongly embedded and small things really did not matter. People never abandoned the value system- embedded into their souls by parents, teachers and the society at large.

Today the inner compass has gone awry yet there are some silly points which can be thorny to our insensitive flesh.

The most powerful emotion which is ‘shaming’ still remains with us. Thank God it still prevails. For instance, ‘body shaming’ which is a recent terminology is something as simple as calling someone a ‘fatso’ and may be enough to push someone into depression or even commit suicide. ‘Hey shorty’- a shout for a short guy can be earth shattering!

The other prickly point is Pride. It still works. A pat on the back, a like on social media still counts.

And the only two motivators preserved by us humans, are shame and pride.

Pride ‘ke liye kuchch bhi Karega’ is the spirit.

Alternately if someone is insulted he or she could even commit suicide. One cannot swallow shame.

Pride still works

To see your name on the third page of a newspaper or a letter of appreciation by your organization, a medal of honour is still something that works. Military Cross, a Vir Chakra or Mahavir Chakra are the ultimate achievement perceived by Armed forces. Padma awards are a great honour for the recipient.

Pride is the biggest reward even for the rich and famous. A standing ovation is the ultimate high a person can get. It is literally priceless both ways- person receives nothing and people giving it to him spend nothing- they just stand and clap! When Sydni Poitier one of the greatest Hollywood actors, was given a standing ovation at the Oscars he broke down on the stage- he was more than a celebrity already.

There are 28 states and eight union territories in India accounting for 36 DGPs or heads of police. Almost ten retire every year. It may be difficult for anyone to remember more than three or four names of such senior officers. Many must have got medals but few earned a position of pride in the eyes of the people. Dr Kiran Bedi is one name that shines out and is easily recounted. She stands out because of her outstanding work and a strong character and attitude. She still remains relevant, as she keeps doing something for the people at large.

There have been more than a dozen Presidents of the Union of India but Dr Abdul Kalam is a name which is relatable to all. He earned pride more than his official designation.

The lesson learnt is that you should strive to earn pride and respect and not only money, you get enough chances to do that within your sphere of work and you can do a lot more than you can even imagine. There have been collectors or District Magistrates who have left a mark permanently etched on the minds of public which lasted for decades after departure. And they carry it as a badge of honour for the rest of their lives and that becomes a permanent motivator for life- it becomes a guiding beacon for their life.

“When you become the image of your own imagination, it’s the most powerful thing you could ever do.” — RuPaul.

I always told my students ‘Do not clamour to sit on an expansive leather chair, but ensure that you sit on an ordinary chair and make that chair invaluable’. After you exit people should say ‘’ so and so sat on this chair.”

People kept themselves motivated to reach a point of pride and not money. Dr Abdul Kalam had just four boxes as personal possession two were full of books. No big bungalows or millions in the bank- but he left a legacy.

People accumulate ‘Property’; real estate amounting to crores of Dollars or Rupees. Authors create ‘Intellectual property’ which is priceless and therefore stays on decades after they depart. You may forget a billionaire but hard to forget Agatha Christie, Ernest Hemmingway or Jane Austin or Robindra Nath Tagore. Sharmila Tagore who herself is a famous film star is still called as a distant relative – a great-grand niece- of Rabindranath Tagore.

This is the power and relevance of pride.

Shame itself is a strong feeling

‘What do you regard as most humane? To spare someone shame.’ —Friedrich Nietzsche

You got to be a robot not to get insulted or not feel happy when applauded. These are strong human emotions. Let me say it loud and clear- you can paint the face of a robot black, put a garland of shoes around his neck, make him sit on an ass and parade him in the town and keep hooting at him and abusing him- nothing will happen to him. Do this to a man and he will die of shame. Artificial Intelligence is way out.

If you shame someone in public, his reputation is finished and that is the biggest punishment. You can fine some one with a hefty amount but a pinch of shame is heavier than money or monetary fine. When someone faces legal action of seizure of house or ‘Kudki’- it is insulting in your face. In earlier days the officials used to throw the luggage out on the road- almirahs dropped from first floor making it look like a spectacle- beizzatee. Public humiliation was more than losing the property.